I finished my scholastic career and waited months to officially graduate. As a teenage father, I never thought I would have the opportunities I have now. I was scared. I was faced with uncertainty. And I was seventeen.
My daughter was born three weeks prior to my 18th birthday. I was a month shy of graduating from high school as I accelerated my learning upon learning that I would be a dad. I was working full-time in a fast-food restaurant making minimum wage. I was told this would be the best job I’d have now that my life was “over.” However, I made sure to obtain a high school diploma. I wasn’t going to settle in the same manner those "teen dads" did in the health videos I watched. I didn't want my life to be over.
I remember waking up that May morning, helping my wife at the time – yes, we were married at 18 – get our daughter ready. Teething and all, she was so cute in her outfit. Her rosy cheeks were about as red as an apple. Snot was running down her face, and her toes were the only thing that stopped her from babbling as she chewed on them to help soothe her gums.
Rewind a year, I was kicked out of my mom’s home. I was living with my dad. The minimum wage didn’t pay a whole lot then - $5.15 per hour. My grandfather, my mom’s dad, endlessly tried to help mend the estranged relationship between me and my mom. But I wasn't going to break my stance. After all, real-life experience told him that kicking out children was a bad idea and only leads to fractured relationships. My mom was kicked out of her house at my age too. Generational decisions can be tough. The relationship between my mom and me only began to mend once my daughter was born.
Fast forward to that sunny afternoon in May, my entire family – mom included – is watching me walk on the stage in my gown and cap to be awarded a high school diploma. Smiles from ear to ear were along my family (grandparents from both sides of my family, my mom, my dad, my brother and sister, my uncles and aunts, etc.) as they rooted for me seeing my determination. I never gave up on being a dad or growing in my career.
After 20 years I finished my bachelor’s degree. Last November, I turned in my final assignment. My daughter, a college student herself, was my first telephone call. I knew I wanted to walk for my college graduation.
Here I am, the night before my college graduation, I sit in an Airbnb in New Hampshire 2,900+ away from home with my college-attending daughter, father, mother, and brother. Tomorrow morning, I will walk down the aisle of the arena to hear my name called as a college graduate. For the last 20 years, I’ve had to sacrifice, push things off, become broke, become unemployed, gain new employment, become broke again, fight custody battles, rekindle relationships, and find who I am. Tomorrow, while a small milestone in the battle of life, I will celebrate with those I love and those who couldn’t be here to see me get my name called.
My hope is that my daughter is inspired to finish her education, my “mistake” of becoming a teenage father can never be termed that again, and my family can break generational mistakes. Yes, it’s just an 8.5”x11” piece of paper. However, to me, it’s a reflection of my hard work. I’m so proud to be here. And I thank everyone who has played a part in my life to help get me here.
